Monday, August 30, 2010

Fourth day of school

Everybody can just shut up.  Stop asking me, "what are you going to do with all of your time?"  I'm tired of it.  Already.  And it is only the 4th day of school.  Yes, my 2 children, with whom I've stayed home for the past 6 years have just gone off to school.  Yes, they were the primary focus of everything every day of their lives.  Guess what?  They still are.  AND I'm trying to find time for ME, too.  Figure out where my interests have staggered off to after 6 years of disregard.  Figure out what I am capable of besides tending to every need of two little boys.  I'm sad.  An entire part of their lives is over and all anyone can do is focus on "what's next".  Well, lay off.  I'll tell you what's next.  You think I'm laying around eating bonbons because I have nothing better to do now that they are in school 7 hours a day?  Well, why the hell not.  Because I haven't had a "break" in 6 years.  Vacation?  Nope, not for mom.  Just doing the same stuff in a different place.  Sure, you can take a week off work and do something "different" or "relaxing", but I can't.  So, yeah, maybe I'll have a bonbon or two while I'm doing the laundry, cleaning the house, clearing the clutter, working on baby books that have been neglected for 6 years, planning meals, shopping for groceries, and a miriad of other things.  And maybe, just maybe, I'll take a few moments here or there and decide what it is that *I WANT* to do.  But in the meantime, I'll just keep doing what I do.  I'm a mom.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Well, here I go.  I've contemplated starting a blog for a long time.  I think I am at a point now where I really want to do this.  I'm not sure yet what it will be about.  I can't guarantee that I won't write something that will offend you.  I can't guarantee I will write anything that makes sense to anyone but me.  But hey, I guess that is ok, since I'm doing this for ME and not for anyone else.  We'll see how that goes, right??

So... Soul Cadence.  How did I come up with that?  Well, every other thing I came up with was taken.  And then today, in the shower (where I hold all of my important meetings), the word Cadence came to my mind.  I love cadences.  I love rhythm.  As a former drummer, I played many cadences back in the day.  They keep you on track.  They give purpose to movement.  I'm looking for some purpose to my movements lately.  I'm looking to find MY rhythm.  I'm in this journey to dig deep and figure out what makes me tick.  Wish me luck.  March on.