Friday, November 19, 2010


Did you ever notice that the clouds in the sky are not the perfect clouds that we drew as children?  Oh sure, some days they do look more like that, but mostly they are just amazing.  They change, they move, they seem to defy what is in our heads as to what the sky "should" look like.  I've been thinking a lot lately about watercolor painting.  It has always been my favorite to do because it seems forgiving.  Of course I haven't painted since I was maybe a freshman in high school?  But I did one 2 weeks ago.  It felt good.  Since then, I've been watching the sky more.  Justifying that "painted" look.  Because really?  That is truly how the sky looks some days.  It is NOT uniform.  It is NOT perfect.  There are dark spots, yes, there are blended spots, but there are always things that just stand out, too.  What a beautiful thing.  Now if I could just convince myself that the things I create are beautiful.  I'm so hard on myself.  I'm so critical.  Perfectionism has been drilled into me since I was little.  How do I let go of some of that?  Lately I'm trying to realize that as much as I want to reinvent my whole self, some things are just me, and it is ok to embrace that.  But I also want to do more, be more, and like me more.  I'm working on it.  It isn't easy.  And really, I don't know the exact place to start.  But I have thoughts, some plans, and definitely some hopes.  Bear with me as I travel through this space...

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