Monday, January 24, 2011

Judgment Day

Ah... how I'm discovering that every day is Judgment Day for me.  By this I mean that *I* judge every day.  I judge myself.  I always feel like I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, and gosh darnit, nobody likes me (sorry, Stuart Smalley...)   And I think, though I'm so hesitant to admit this, I judge others.  I like to think I am not that person.  But sadly, I don't think I'm as accepting of others as I want to be.  Granted, I think maybe I'm better than some.  There I go again!  Judging, comparing, trying to measure up.  This is bad.  I want to change my thoughts.  I want to change my outlook.  I want to love, give light to the world, positive energy (oh how I love being around those people!!)...  This is going to take some work.  Really.  I think I might cry as I type this.  I don't want to judge others.  It is not for me to do.  But today, something struck me that it is ME that I cannot judge first.  I need to start with myself.  Love myself.  Give light to myself.  Think POSITIVE thoughts about myself.  And then I think the rest will come....  

Don't Judge Yourself.

In other news...  before all of this depth of realization, I was really enjoying my day. ;-)  Yes, it is going to keep being a good day because I am CHOOSING for it to be so!  But, back to how it started...  January 24th and I'm finally putting into practice several of my plans for myself this year.  Ok, not just for the year, but trying to do this going forward.  1) exercise 2) shower and dressed like a real person 3) make up on 4) take care of my body by using lotion, drinking lots of water, and having some ME time (yes, artistic creation was on the table literally(!) today, and next I'm going to read 5) Light a candle -- why do I have so many candles around if I'm not going to light them??? 6) Day 5 of my food cleanse and it is going well... just really missing chocolate...  I'm feeling really positive today and what a fantastic feeling that is!  Going to keep it moving!!

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